Full. Real. Unfinished.

There's a girl who cares for the world. She thinks about it every day. She's relentless about what could be done to bless someone and how to uplift and inspire. She works like it's nobody's business. She's constantly trying to build souls. Beauty and compassion fill the space around her. She's in this life for progress. She's working to help set us free. She won't do much unless it will impact someone for good. This girl needs to know that she matters. She needs to have space to feel. Her passion is fierce, and she's proud when she's wild and free.

The world is cruel and the world is kind Life is indifferent and life is loving The sun sets every eve and the sun rises every morn My body is out of sync and it always finds equilibrium It's going to break and it will all work out Sorrow abounds and there is much to smile about We will suffer and we will always be ok Love will break our hearts and love will always win Everything dies and life will prevail Fear abounds and faith works Despair exists and hope remains I am alone and they always provide

Dear Future Me, I don't know how it will look. I'm giving everything to make this work with Darin, and its 100% worth it if we can figure it out. I'd give anything, I'm giving everything- To be married to someone who makes it clear to me that I matter. To be married to someone who wants to reach for the best that life has to offer. Who wants to work to become more for himself and help create an environment where our kids can too. Who wants to work on our relationship. I'd give anything to feel united and supported. To feel like I don't need to go it alone because there's someone there next to me. Not behind me, but next to me. Walking at his own rhythm and not pulling me back because of it. Is it a dream that's unattainable? It feels so close. Like I could just simply reach out and touch it. But then like a mirage, it disappears. Now it's out of reach. I succumb to my reality of feeling like I'm going it alone. Married, but alone. Unsupported. In...

It was right about this time, 20 years ago, that I gave birth for the very first time. I'm smiling as I recall that day. I'm smiling because I feel proud of me then, proud of me now and of all the things in between. Motherhood has always been a crucible- changing, stretching and requiring me to grow- at a pace that's felt impossible at times. But I love growth. I don't mind discomfort, and I freaking adore my kids. For half of my life they've occupied the grandest parts of my heart. I'm smiling about that today.

Find the wind.   I woke up with this admonition after a day of remarkable storm. Find the wind. To me it means notice where things are blowing and move in for the ride. When I go where its already blowing, there's a surrender and trust. When I go where its already blowing, there's less energy expended and more distance covered. The wind represents wisdom blowing in from other people and other times. Like a story carried from one place to another, from one's life experience to another. There are messages of hope inside the wind. Good morning, my dear. Here's a new day.  Find the wind.

From the place where I'm sitting, I hear her cane thumping long before she's in sight. I'm feeling busied, hurried, tired from many commitments in my day. I've sat down to rest but the sitting-still makes me feel antsy. I wish there were someone to sit-still with. I feel flustered about my kids being on their phones; so I pick up my phone and begin to scroll. I feel lonely, I feel mad. I wonder if I have the right to blame anyone but me. And then I hear the thumping. Thump, step, step. Thump, step, step. I instinctively lay my phone down as a salute of respect. She's walking. Just. Walking. She's not texting five people, watching a webinar, stressing about her teens on their phones, rotating laundry, feeling lost about running an organization, planning grocery lists for birthdays and campouts or endlessly wrestling with the state of her marriage. She's just walking. Thump, step, step. Thump, step, step. I can feel my breath moving in and out. My hands now em...