For 18 years they consume every thought. Everything you do is for their good, every decision made with them in mind. It's like nothing you've done before. This requires all the energy of your heart, mind and soul. So much of the process goes unseen, thousands of private moments where you made the decision to BUILD. Wanting (more than anything) for those wings to grow strong and resilient, feather by feather you stand and witness as it takes place. So many of those feathers are constructed of confidence imbued by YOU.
Then it happens. Just as you've envisioned for nearly two decades, they step to the edge of the nest with those big powerful wings, and they go. Excited, hopeful, happy. The world is all theirs. You realize then that although they are your world, you are not THEIR world. For a minute, pain washes over your heart and you hope you're not really as alone as you feel.
Their world looks completely different than yours. This is the beginning to them, not the result of a thoughtfully nourished two decades. They will not know that story, it's not the story they'll tell.
But it IS YOUR story. It's your quiet, secret victory.
You know that your children won't understand what you've done. How can a bird know anything other than the nest where he's always lived?
Maybe in the end, we don't do it for them. Maybe we do it for us. Maybe the victory is ours to hold. To pride ourselves in and smile at ourselves for. Knowing that as women, we are mind-blowingly capable.
If we can do THAT... we can truly do anything.
Comments
Post a Comment